News

X Factor

Everyones asking the question ‘Why was Laura voted off?’ well i’m asking ‘Why has Daniel’s hair gone aubergine?’ I couldn’t take my eyes off it, its the same colour I want for my downstairs toilet, there I was with my Dulux colour chart pressed against the screen (for those of you who give a shit […]

Read more


BOOK SALES

Gawd blind me, i’ve sold over 45,000 books. Thanks everyone!!!!!!!!!

Read more


COMMON SCENTS

Hello everyone, sorry I haven’t been blogging, i’ve been dead busy with my book signings. I’ve been Newcastle, Glasgow, Asda Headquarters, Leeds, Manchester you name it I’ve prostitued myself there. Thank you for all the people who’ve turned up, I appreciate it, and also for all the presents. Thankfully there wasn’t a dogging video to […]

Read more


CHELTENHAM

Just got back from The Times Cheltenham Literary Festival, and I must say I had a great time, I can’t tell you what the best bit was, whether it was the sell out 900+ audience or sharing a vol au vent with Jilly Cooper in ‘The Writers Room’. Yes, haters I am classed as a […]

Read more