Watcha!! Yes, its me again writing on my blog for the second time this year -(Oops! its nearly april). Anyway no-one reads it – i don’t know why i bother but hey it keeps me off the streets i guess. I’m halfway through my warm-up tour and boy have i seen some sights and done some things i have put them in no particular order for you to peruse at your own leisure…

1) Staying in dog friendly hotels and wondering if they’ll still be dog friendly after i leave with Bev (my dog). She’d ran out of my bedroom and stole this blokes croissant off his plate – looking at the size of the man i think Bev did him a favour.

2) Getting drunk with my support guy Josh Widdecommbe and tweeting that i would ‘follow’ everyone who ‘followed’ @joshwiddecoombe – i was expecting a few hundred people – 10,000!! Yep you read that right 10,000 people followed demanding that i ‘follow’ them IMMEDIATELY. Shit. Obviously impossible to do so didn’t do it – (my days of doing data entry are long gone love) yes i let my lovely tweeters down – sorry. A few days of abuse and moaning from twitter, i was dubbed a ‘TweetCheat’ can you believe that? After what happened in Japan and Libya i think people got a bit of perspective in their lives and moved on. Lets be honest, they’d only DM me – Are you Jimmy Carr’s brother? Or ‘Do you actually sound like that?’ If you couldn’t see that finding and following 10,000 people wasn’t a complete ball-ache for me then i don’t actually want you following me – weirdo!!
3) Arriving at Andover to find they had just sprayed the fields with manure – i actually thought the town was made of dog shit. (Lovely gig and lovely people though)
4) My dog running on stage at Maidstone and the audience thinking i was going to do a ‘Gin The Dancing Dog ‘routine.
5) Doing Comic Relief with Fearne, Claudia and Davina – what a brilliant night – although no lie, i had fallen asleep in the make-up chair just before going on – properly asleep – dribbling, the works. Lenny Henry ended up slapping me – mind you i do have one of those faces.
6) I’ve added another photo of me as Lady Gaga from the heat magazine shoot i did last year. Enjoy – don’t laugh at my love handles – i was ‘born this way’.
Hopefully see you on tour soon alan xxxxxx