HERES TO 2010!!

Just back from Sunderland spending Christmas visting friends and family – wasnt it lovely having a white christmas, well it was a yellow christmas as i passed stockton on the motorway, something to do with the fumes i guess. Look, Im not a scientist but even i know when the snowmans carrot starts pulsating and glowing somethings wrong.

I know its a few days early but thought i better wish you a Happy New Year now – i’ve got a few busy days ahead what with organising my New Years Eve party and taking my unwanted presents back to cash convertors. I love cash convertors, just not when i see my books and CDs in the window 2 for 1 hmmm! the ingratitude. Can you believe I actually got sent a joke book as a present – i’m a stand-up comedian thats what i do!!! Thats like sending Kerry Katona a kebab, a bit more thought please, I wouldnt have minded but the jokes were a bit on the tired side(Shut up you people saying that they would have fitted into my act perfectly!!) Jokes that start ‘Two lesbians at a bus-stop….’ is not really my kind of thing.

It looks like I’ve got a busy year ahead, and if you believe the Daily Star i’m going to be in the Celebrity Big Brother House, well, thats news to me but you never know i might just prepare an eviction outfit just in case, i might as well look good whilst im being booed and having excrement thrown at me.
Dont forget on New Years Day – you can hear me on Radio 2 with the gorgous Nadine Coyle between 14.00 and 17.00 on the Great British Songs of the Noughties (Adele and Paloma Faith pop in too) – let my soothing voice ease away your hangover blues.
Alan x