LEGG AND PEGG

The Sunday Night Project was such a laugh last night, we had Simon Pegg hosting and it really was a joy. He was so funny and was a fan of the show, which made mine and Justins job so much better (the amount of times we've had to tell the hosts that me and Justin aren't lovers, and no were not thinking of having a civil ceremony!! - but if OK magazine paid enough money I'd do, it. I'm not proud. I'd open an Al-Queda training camp if the money was right). But not only was it a joy but I got to cross off my last wish from my 2008 wish list - to play Diana 'I'm just a girl from Blackburn' Vickers from X-Factor in a sketch. Simon played Eggnog as an Ewok and strangely, it worked. Justin makes a beautiful Alexandra, if you squint and put some lino over the tv screen.

Is it me, or is it not very Christmassy this year? I didn't feel too full of Christmas Spirit, i went out for a drive to see the happy faces of all the shoppers - Christ I wish i'd never bothered. Miserable people scowling, pushing and shoving, then believe it or not I saw Dr. Legg (from Eastenders fame) standing alone outside a closed down 'Woolies' - i'm not too proud to tell you I nearly wept, it was such a heartwarming sight, two icons from yesteryear together, it was like Cliff Richard and Kiki Dee in 'Mistletoe and Wine'. I had to pull over and have a mulled wine, well, any excuse.

APOLOGIES ALL ROUND

Hello All, Just a quick note to apologise to all the people who were offended by me 'dedicating' my award to Karen Matthews. For those of you who have enjoyed my comedy and seen my act over the last seven years you all would have got used to my tongue in cheek style and near the knuckle observations. Last night at the Comedy Awards was no exception, after being asked by a journalist why I hadn't dedicated the award to anyone or said anything controversial in my speech. I said 'it wasn't really my thing to be controversial ' but in a flash of inspiration I said 'I'll dedicate it to Karen Matthews'. The journalists in the room burst out laughing aware that
my tongue couldn't have been further in my cheek, I went on to say that she was 'a gay icon' and that 'I would love to work with her'. Just to put the record straight I was being ironic, these aren't my real sentiments obviously. So apologies to everyone, i am so sorry if you are offended I was taking the piss but if you've seen me before you'll know that already. XXXX

NOTHING TO LAUGH ABOUT

Hello All, I won my second Comedy Award last night woohoo!!! Sorry about my speech, I didn't think I'd won so didn't have any speech prepared (as you all saw) i was genuinely shocked. Plus, I was all flustered, my car hadn't turned up so I had to arrive by bloody tube, serious, a tube ride dressed up like a dogs dinner on the Victoria line with a hen party is not really how I expected to make my entrance. Although Pam (the bride to be's Mum) helped me pick the chewing gum off the hem of my slacks, THANK YOU LOVE!!!!

COOKALONG

Well, my tongue has only just recovered from Gordon Ramsey's Cookalong, for those who didn't see it, a man was there who makes the hottest curry in the world and he wasn't joking, it was like Korma flavoured Listerine, i've never sounded so butch, it basically destroyed my tastebuds which was probably a good thing after the monstrosity I cooked up and fed my friends (they're not speaking to me now). I was so nervous a) cooking a three course Indian meal b) live on telly with c) Gordon breathing down my neck, c'mon you'd be nervous too, plus they'd asked me not to mention any 'goings on' that have been in the papers recently, well as you can imagine my brain went into 'Gordon Tourettes', every thought I had was hanky panky related 'Tonight I'm making a Whorema, Korma sorry, Korma'. However anxieties aside it was a success and Gordon was lovely and so was his wife Tana, she was a real sweetheart, and I say good luck to them both, i think the last few weeks for them have been a bit like my chicken madras - tough and hard to swallow.