All posts by Admin

DITA WHAT A TEESE!

Well, I have only just stopped shaking and perspiring, as chief entertainment reporter for More magazine i got to meet Dita Von Teese and she was something else, she was so SEXY!!! Yes, she had me drooling so much, it was getting embarassing. Then she started showing me how the bras clipped and unclipped, I was putty in her hand. What a minx!! It was the same when I met Alan Titchmarsh.

Anyway, I am off to put some frozen peas on my crotch.

NATIVITY

Last day of filming for ‘Nativity’, i don’t want to spoil it by telling you what its about but even a retard is going to know that a ‘Nativity’ is involved at some point, I’m really enjoying being in it, plus its all improvised which is very scary because I am performing with some very good actors, but I managed to look the right way and not walk into any furniture which is a bonus I suppose. Yesterday was a nightmare because we actually had to film the Nativity, and it is so true what they say ‘Don’t work with children and animals’, it took forever, plus my winnebago, if you can call it that, its basically a portaloo with a z-bed wedged in it. My winnebago was right next to the animal pen, so all day I had to endure donkeys whinneying, and pigs snorting through the walls, God it was like being at a Michael Barrymore party. Anyway last day today wish me luck!!

50 cent come home, can you read me!

Well, there I was, sitting at home with my dictophone in my hand waiting for the car to take me to the press junket where I am to interview 50cent for More magazine and I get told that he has had a queeny strop and walked out the junket refusing to talk to anymore journalists because he was asked a question he didn’t like. Oh dear! For someone who constantly talks about living in the ghetto, bitches and hos glorifying gun crime and dissing cock sucking faggots, he seems to be a very sensitive soul. Maybe he should lie down in a darkened room, poor thing. Interviewing Sugababes tomorrow, i’ve met them before and they are lovely. At least i wont get a cap in my ass.

What do you think?

Do I really look like Mick Hucknall’s love child?