Alright loves, Can i just say a big THANK YOU to everyone who phoned, texted, emailed me and emma yesterday on our first Radio show together – we were literally inundated. (my favourite was Annie the Cornish fishmonger cooking scallops!!!) For those of you who didn’t know we were on Radio 2 between 6.00pm – 8.00pm Saturday night and will be every Saturday for the next year kickstarting your weekend.
We were very nervous at the beginning and yes they’re were a few cock ups, Emma said ‘Webcum’ instead of ‘Webcam’ and i advised a woman to sniff nail polish remover to relieve the boredom of cleaning – there was me giggling away only to see the producer eyeballing me mouthing “no,” making cut throat gestures. Alright alright, i get the message. Overall it was a triumph and all the people upstairs looked happy (although a little bit wet with perspiration) but happy nevertheless which is the main thing.
If you would like to speak to me and Emma about what you’re doing that Saturday night, hen nights, barbecues, bowling, bungee jumping – i dont care, just call me on the number below.
Also if youre having a wardrobe malfunction let us know too, it doesnt have to be as dramatic as janet jacksons, no, you’re tit doesnt have to have been whipped out by Justin Timberlake in a Working Men’s Club, no just ring us up and me and emma will go through youre wardrobe and make you look pretty, oh so pretty. Watch out Gok, theres a new kid on the block.
CALL ME NEXT SATURDAY BETWEEN 6 – 8PM on 0500 88291 or text 88291 or email me on firstname.lastname@example.org
and we’ll make your weekend that little bit special.
Off to the BAFTAS now, oh to be a tv personality
Well, had my first runthrough for my new chat show in a church hall and do you know what – it went really well. I know what you’re thinking ‘He’s going to say that – he wants us to watch it’ Ahh! Nothing gets past you. Call me an old luvvie but Im a superstitious old sod, if you have a good run-through it usually means that the proper show will be shite and vice versa. So expect me on the 7th june to walk into the furniture, forget my lines and drop all my props – just think Hollyoaks but on a sofa.
Dont forget im on Gok’s Fashion Fix tonight at 8.00pm – huh! How can you improve on perfection?
Christ its boring, how drab are bank holidays. Went for a walk around Regents Park, saw a squirrel, thats about it really.
Had a nice bath, treated myself to a BathBomb from Lush, which was nice enough. Its always a hassle getting in my bath because its overlooked by my next door neighbours porch, theres been times when ive whipped my towel off and set off ScallyKarens intruder sensor. The sight of her and her rottweiler peering through the patio doors makes you want to have a wash at the best of times.
I must admit when it comes to batheing, you cant beat a bit of Radox, those floral bathbombs are nice and all that its just a ballache when you have unblock the plughole at the end, its so stuffed with roses, petals, oats, leaves you dont know whether to call in dynorod or get Alan Titchmarsh to bring his secateurs round. I might as well have a strip wash in a window box.
Anyway Happy Easter!
I stood in for Paul O’Grady today on his show, (its going to be shown on Easter Monday) and had a ball although the producers had decided to put explosive easter Eggs around the set that would explode whilst I was reading the letters from the Postbag. As you can imagine when they exploded I nearly had a heartattack and the audience laughed at my shock, then i could smell burning. An explosive easter egg had exploded so much that it had set one of pauls dolls on fire and her skirt was going up like a Christmas Tree. I was thinking shit, Paul leaves me for one day and I burn down his bloody set, (it could have been worse, i could have torched Buster). So once the doll and neighbouring photo of Joan Collins (it took years off her) had been extinguished the show could continue. Bloody Exploding Easter Eggs, if there had been Smarties inside it would have wiped out the front row.
I cant believe ive been “spotted” at ‘Christ the Redeemer’ in Rio de Janeiro, its this weeks ‘Hot Spot’ in HEAT. God they have spies everywhere.